Turn and face the strange

Our visions for tomorrow are most vital when they emerge from the concrete circumstances of change we are experiencing right now.

- bell hooks

We went into puberty as children. During puberty, we were rebellious, our skin and hair got weird, our bodies grew in disproportionate fits and starts, we loved Jake Ryan so much, and we hated everything else. Coming out of puberty, we were something new we had never been, and we engaged with the world in a new way. Wtfopause is like that - we are going through changes, and we will be something else on the other side. But what?

Some people treasure the Crone archetype, a wise one who “embodies instinctive ways of channeling wisdom, inner knowing, and intuition, guiding us through the transition of life, and going inward to bring forth the light for transformation.” But crone isn’t the only choice, and there is more than one way to be a crone.

Many feminine archetypes - mother, maiden, queen, huntress, sage, mystic, and lover are available to us for inspiration. So are the masculine archetypes - king, warrior, magician, lover. Our culture and our kids are asking us to move past the gender binary, so why don’t we? What better time than wtfopause to say we are no longer defined by our reproductive capacities and their hormones?

There are symptoms that come along with wtfopause, but there is also a shedding. I am interested in this transformation because as a health care provider, healing always involves transformation.

So far, I am really, really enjoying not getting my period anymore. It hurt so much, it was so bloody, my whole body swelled, I ruined pants, dresses, sheets, futons. I snapped at people, I was too hot. I may always be irritable but I understand how to work with myself better now.

I like that my fibroids are shrinking. Like me, they are being deprived of estrogen. Good.

I like having sex without worrying about pregnancy. I like scheduling a vacation without worrying about whether my period will ruin it. I like buying expensive white sheets.

I feel a sense of impending freedom. All that reproductive baggage - gone. Just me and my empty uterus. I am pregnant with a version of myself, and this process is gestating her and laboring to bring her forth. At times, I am feeling more adult, more centered, more powerful, kinder, and more relaxed than I ever have. Age can bring some profound rewards and wisdom, if we choose to go in that direction.  Like everything, we have a choice in how this goes. Many, many choices.

And I am curious and excited to see who I will become on the other side of this.

Who are some of your wtfopausal heroes? What are some qualities you’d love to bring in? And should we add Riot Grrl to the list of archetypes? Let’s just assume we get to decide, through our words and actions, who we are becoming - who do you have in mind?